Who do you love more than you love yourself?
Who loves you more than you love yourself?
Who fulfills you and determines your sense of worth?
If the answers to these questions are anyone other than yourself, maybe it’s time for a little re-evaluation. Too many of us are searching for that special someone to complete us and make us whole. We depend on that man or woman to make us happy and fill in the gaps in our lives. The truth is, you will never have a successful relationship if you don’t love yourself more than you love anyone else. When answering the first question above, “Who do you love more than you love yourself”, some of you may have stated your children, parents, husband, or wife. If you ask me, I’ll tell you no one. I am the mother of a beautiful little girl. I love her to death and I will do anything to nurture and protect her. I love my mother deeply and I am eternally grateful for the exceptional job she did in raising me. My mother and daughter come very close, but I have to say I love myself more. The same will be true of my husband when/if I get married.
This means that I focus on my happiness before that of anyone else’s. I make sure that I am satisfied and fulfilled independent of the people in my life before I can give a piece of myself to those people. If I’m not happy, it effects my relationships. I can’t be a good mother if I don’t take care of myself. I will not be able to have a positive influence on my child if I’m not happy and I don’t carry myself in a way that makes my level of self-love and self-worth obvious. I can’t teach her how to be a dynamic woman if I am not one myself. How can you give a piece of yourself to anyone if you are not whole? Don’t start a romantic relationship because you need validation and completion. Don’t have a baby because you need someone to love you unconditionally. Don’t expect your relationships to succeed if you create them under these expectations because more than likely they won’t. If you don’t value yourself and focus on your own happiness, what can you honestly offer someone else? Not much.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that we should be completely self-centered and selfish. There’s a thin line to cross. In making the decision to put your own happiness first, you must learn to find a balance. Realize that you are doing this not only for yourself, but also for the other significant people in your life. The success of your relationships are a direct product of your own happiness and sense of value. In short, get yourself together!
I know it’s hard. To be honest, I’m not sure that am completely there myself. The words you’re reading are the same things I tell myself as I strive to create the kind of relationship that I want to have with myself. Fake it until you make it! Your man, woman, child, parents, and friends will thank you for it.